What do girls want?
Girls want and need to be listened to by grown ups and peers and not be judged. They want to be supported and have adults believe in them. They want to know that even if they’ve messed up, they’re still good kids. They want to be in safe, healthy relationships that encourage, support, and empower them. They want to belong, to make a difference, to give voice to their thoughts, values, and beliefs, and to have a say in the decisions that affect them.

What is the best approach as a facilitator
of a Girls Circle?
To be the “guardian” of the Circle in order to keep girls feeling safe. To bring relevant themes and interesting activities and create a safe space for girls to talk about the issues in their lives. Refrain from lecturing, or giving advice, but rather, ask questions that encourage girls to express their own ideas. Be genuine. Facilitate an environment where girls can think through things and make their own decisions with the groups’ support.

What do girls like most about Girls Circle?
Girls like the feeling of being supported by their peers, and offering support to others. They appreciate having the caring support of an adult facilitator who is willing to listen. They like the fun of participating in gender relevant activities in Girls Circle, and to participate in a community setting. Girls regularly report that Girls Circles help them realize that they are not alone, and that other girls have similar experiences and feelings. They also love the positive tone and respect that is experienced within the circle in addition to being treated as capable and confident to make their own wise and healthy decisions.

What do I need to do to start a Circle?
If you can’t attend a training, you can purchase the Facilitator Manual and Girls Circle Facilitator Activity Guide(s). The training gives you the opportunity to practice key skills, but many people start circles around the country just by reading the Facilitator Manual and using the Facilitator Activity Guide(s). You also need others to support your efforts. A team of committed individuals to support a facilitator can really make a program successful.

How many girls should I have in my circle?
Eight seems to be a magic number for participants. Somewhere between six and ten is common. With large groups, it is very helpful to co-facilitate circles. Small groups of about five members may be more useful for girls who have special needs or have been through some extra hardships or trauma. These girls often feel safer in smaller groups.

What ages can I combine for my group?
Try to keep girls within a one or two year age difference, or close in their developmental stages. While there are some groups in which girls range in ages of up to four years difference, generally older girls have a longer attention span for listening, younger girls are interested in a good balance of activity and sharing. Girls want and need to relate to one another, so it is best to try to match them up developmentally where possible.

Is it okay for a mother to facilitate and have my daughter in the Girls Circle?
It depends on if your daughter wants to be with you in the circle. It also depends on the nature and purpose of your Girls Circle. We have run circles as mothers, and run other circles professionally. Whatever role we are in, it is important to keep the role as a Girl Circle facilitator clear while we are in circle. A girl whose mother is the facilitator may feel awkward and uncomfortable; conversely, she may be very interested and comfortable being her mother in that environment. She may choose to speak freely, or select what she shares carefully.

Many girls and mothers, however, find that these roles are tricky to balance. We’ve seen mother-daughter groups work very well when the circles begin while the daughter is in early adolescence. One or more mothers as facilitators in this sort of circle can be great. By high school, many girls need and value other female role models, as they are learning to define themselves. So, again, it depends on your own daughter’s comfort zone.

Should girls who are good friends be in the same Girls Circle?
Girls are often more willing to try a new experience if they can bring a friend or two. The key issue is that all girls who are willing to join a circle need to know that the circle’s purpose is for all participants to get more acquainted and be there for each other. Inclusiveness is an integral value of Girls Circles. Therefore, friends will be expected to stretch out of their comfort zones, to participate with others in icebreakers, activities, and sharing. Close friendships can leave other girls feeling excluded, so these relationships will be addressed early on, acknowledging girls’ friendships while expecting commitment to friendly and inclusive interactions with everyone. Some girls actually prefer to be in a Girls Circle where they don’t already have relationships. It feels like a fresh place to present oneself and be free from some of the emotional demands of other relationships.

How can I find a Girls Circle in my area?
We are currently building a nationwide database of active Girls Circles. In the mean time, you can contact our office and we may be able to provide you with points of reference in your area. Additionally, parents and girls can contact local organizations serving girls to inquire about circles. When some parents and community members have not found Girls Circles offered in their area, they have provided our information to local organizations or school counselors and offered assistance and encouragement to initiate circles. It is amazing to see the numerous, creative ways people make a difference!

Can Girls Circles have male facilitators?
Girls Circles are designed to be a gender-specific program. We know that positive male role models can be very important to girls’ growth and development. However, girls need places to talk about the pressures of growing up, including pressures and attitudes they experience from males. Because many girls won’t talk honestly when boys and men are around about their personal concerns, they need female facilitators for circles.
The same is true for boys’ groups that address male issues.

We know that there are some counseling or other youth groups in which a male and a female co-facilitator may be present. There are instances when this design is appropriate.
However, the Girls Circle model maintains the notion that girls’ wellness stems from strong connections in her community, and that a specific community of girls and women is a core component of her developing a positive identity as a young woman.

Is Girls Circle a therapy group?
It sounds like one.
Girls Circle is a model for promoting girls’ wellness in groups. The model is applicable in community groups such as scouting, at camps, and in many prevention programs AND is also being applied in therapeutic settings.

Across all settings, Girls Circle maintains that girls have the basic right to safety and health. In fact, many girls need protection and safety from relational, emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse. This is a sad, but true reality.

While most Girls Circles spend the vast majority of time in sharing stories, and creating positive personal or team-oriented skills and solutions to gender-relevant issues, there are times when active adult intervention to protect girls from harm may occur.

What qualifications do I need to be a
Girls Circle Facilitator?
Girls Circle facilitators can either be adults and young women who have taken our initial two day “Girls Circle Facilitator Training” or adults who purchase our manual and Facilitator Activity Guides on how to lead and implement the Girls Circle program. While attending the training is certainly the best option for preparing facilitators, adults who cannot attend training can do so successfully if they follow the materials carefully and structure their program and groups according to the principles and format outlined in our Facilitator Manual. The most important qualification is to be a person who girls can trust to be caring, a great listener, responsible to keep the climate emotionally comfortable for the girls, and to know when to involve other community members as resources for the group and any individual member should the need arise.

Facilitators’ backgrounds and skills are most often in the helping professions and education, such as social workers, nurses, counselors, therapists, and teachers. In addition, prevention specialists, coaches, probation officers, psychologists, graduate students, ministers, business women and laypersons who are active in youth development are often well prepared to experience the Girls Circle training. People who care about girls, and provide the attention, dedication, positive attitudes, and legal and ethical responsibilities that are integral to the Girls Circle model, are generally well qualified to receive the training.

How should I publicize my circle if I don’t work for a youth serving agency?
By far the best method is word of mouth in your community - your friends, school community, neighbors, faith or sports networks, and the girls themselves! Our Girls Circle Facilitator Manual provides you with a detailed unit on various ways to advertise and publicize your circle. Our website will soon provide listings of Girls Circles, so that you can post your circle and contact information for visitors. Having a team of motivated girls who help spread the word in fun and creative ways can be a great jump start to getting other girls interested to learn more. Many interested individual facilitators can team up with community organizations in existence, such as a neighborhood recreation center to offer the Girls Circle. Places where girls naturally convene are great places where you can offer a Girls Circle.

What’s the best way for me to create safety, trust, and cohesion in my circle?
If you have ever participated in a group of any kind yourself, you know that these important characteristics take time to develop. They also take skill and dedication on the facilitator’s part, and the involvement of the group. From the very first day and hour of a Girls Circle, girls are invited to state the kinds of agreements and behaviors they need and want from each other in order to feel emotionally safe. Strategies are developed within the group to support the positive climate that engenders trust and cohesion. The facilitator then acts consistently to encourage the positive interactions and to discourage behaviors that interfere with safety and trust. Fortunately, girls really want the safety, and when they are able to participate in setting the limits and defining the goals of the group, they are willing to bring their best relationship abilities to the circle. The girls end up helping each other to show the kind of respect they want to be shown themselves.

What about parents?
How should they be involved?
Supporting a girls’ involvement in a Girls Circle is an important role for parents. Knowing what is expected of the girls, and any expectations the facilitator has of parents will be important. Likewise, parents can support the circle by letting their daughters know that they recognize the circle is a good place for them to be themselves and enjoy being and learning about other girls. As parents, it is helpful to ask what the general types of topics are, and to invite your daughters to talk with you about those issues whenever they wish to do so. Communicate with the facilitator(s) about concerns that arise for your daughter. While group communications are generally confidential, a parent can always contact the facilitator to share important information that can assist the facilitator in responding positively to girls’ needs. Some Girls Circle programs are able to offer separate parent circles to promote awareness, discussion and ways in which parents can maintain positive relationships with their daughters throughout adolescence.

Pay attention to your own behaviors and attitudes toward women and toward yourself. Girls Circles challenge many stereotypical notions. For example, Girls Circle believes that women have strengths to pull together to work things out and support one another, rather than letting jealousy, envy, and conflicts dictate relationships. Girls Circle believes that women and girls can be more effective in all their relationships when they can express their thoughts and feelings directly and respectfully to others. Parents who model this behavior and support their daughters’ growing skills have a great influence on the positive direction of circles.

Should everything that’s said in the group be kept confidential?
Girls Circles are places to share experiences, at girls’ own pace, in a confidential setting. This confidentiality creates emotional safety and trust for girls. They learn to appreciate the group guideline that “everything said in circle stays in circle.”

There are exceptions to confidentiality. Facilitators must contact parents or other responsible adults and community professionals when they believe a girl may be suicidal, or is threatening to seriously harm another person. Facilitators are mandated reporters and are legally and ethically bound to report to appropriate child protective services when they suspect a girl is or has been abused - physically, sexually, or emotionally.

Girls’ safety from harm is the number one responsibility for Girls Circle facilitators.

What about boys?
Don’t they need Boys Circles?
Absolutely. Boys and girls both face multiple challenges to wellness in today’s world. That's why we've developed Boys Council - a gender-relevant support group model that addresses the issues boys and young men face everyday. There’s tremendous pressure on boys to fit into limited definitions of maleness. They’re supposed to be “tough,” “powerful,” and “cool.” When they feel or perceive themselves to be anything else, their self images are in jeopardy. So many stereotypes about being a girl/young woman and being a boy/young man affect youth in deep and life-shaping ways.

Boys Council (www.boyscouncil.com) provides a format and curricula especially suited to boys and young men - engaging, active, and discussion oriented. Boys Council assumes that boys and young men have some needs that are different than girls and young women, yet share relational capacities, the need for belonging, the ability to claim and uphold dignity and respect for themselves and others, and competence to grow in emotional intelligence, moral judgment, personal responsibility, and with a social conscience to act with regard for others.


Should I charge for participation in the circle?
That is certainly an option, and a decision for you to make. Girls Circles are a very rewarding experience for facilitators, but many cannot afford to invest the time and energy without receiving fees for their service. Some women who want to independently start circles in their communities do charge anywhere from $10 to $50 per circle session depending on the economics of their community and what parents can reasonably afford. Others are able or interested to offer to facilitate circles on a voluntary basis.

Schools, youth programs, and prevention and treatment settings always involve costs for the time, training, materials, space, and support of the providers. These settings generally seek funds from local, state, federal grants and foundations that support girls’ growth and development. Private practitioners such as therapists and other counselors charge reasonable fees in order to cover their time and expenses. It is our hope and vision that every girl who wants to participate in a circle can access one. We hope that barriers can be avoided wherever possible. Sliding scale or scholarships are often essential components of a strong and healthy girls’ program.